Dragonball Evolution Impressions [Part 1]

I have been avoiding this for a while now, but I suppose it is finally time to write a SHORT initial review of Dragonball Evolution. I'm calling this an "initial" review because the version of the film I viewed was a cam, so needless to say it wasn't the best watch ever. Not that I expect a clearer version to save this mess.

Dragonball Evolution was a complete waste of time and energy that fails in almost every respect. Not surprised? Well you should be. Most people have been expecting a poor adaptation of their lovable anime series which, however, I can say Dragonball Evolution is not. The film is so loosely based on the Dragon Ball anime that it can scarcely be called an adaptation at all. The writers basically just took a list of names and vague backstory explanations and went to town. So what was the end result of this process? A terrible, awful, horrific movie which I honestly prefer over a terrible, awful, horrific Dragon Ball movie. Don't watch this film expecting to see the latter because it just isn't there. Seriously, the Kamehameha is just an advandced "air bending" technique in the film. Yes, apparently one of the writers had a kid who watched Avatar: The Last Airbender and decided that since Dragon Ball looked similar he could just blend a few aspects into his script. Fire bending is mentioned as well, I believe. I would get into the acting and dialogue, but I don't feel like looking up about a dozen different ways of saying awful, bland, and nauseating. Respectively, of course.

So I am going to give Dragonball Evolution an initial rating of half a star out of five for its complete waste of time and funding. The thing that scares me the most about this film is that someone thought that it was worth releasing. Bleh.

Rise Of The Machines

I haven't updated since Wednesday? Wow, these days go by fast.

Anyway, I saw this video in a recent Gizmodo article... and it basically terrifies me. Especially the swimming robot. This just screams Skynet. Where is Sarah Connor when you need her? And not whiny, spirit walk, TV series Sarah Connor either. I mean combat boots, sub-machine gun, movie Sarah Connor. But see for yourself, though.

The full article can be found here.

New Zelda DS Game Trailer

Before I get into anything else (as you can see I added "Rant" to the tag list), I want you to know that this trailer upsets me. The very idea of trains in this game upsets me. Now I have been a huge Zelda fan since A Link To The Past and I haven't been too disappointed in the series since then (sans Majora's Mask of course). The previous Zelda game, entitled The Phantom Hourglass, was fairly enjoyable even if it was a bit weak in comparison to most Zelda games (yet again, sans Majora's Mask).

But this is just getting stupid! Trains?! Really? They saw that people somewhat liked the shallow boat idea from Phantom Hourglass so now they are going to use the same idea but this time with trains? What's next, planes? Cars? Instead of coming up with a new theme they are just taking the last one and warping it a little bit. At this rate Zelda is going to be in the same boat as the Sonic series...

Other than that... oh, just watch it already!

Twilight Impressions

With all of the popularity surrounding this film, and the book series it is based off of, I did expect to see it at some point. Whether it be on an airplane, at some sort of private screening, or just at a friends house. Did I want to see it? Not really. I read a small portion of the first book while sitting around in Barnes & Nobles and dismissed it as soon as I started to realize that it was reading like a trashy romance novel. Seriously, the supernatural elements in the series are really just inserted into the plot to add a layer of "otherness" to the romance, which is apparently attractive to a large portion of our species. Now I consider myself to be somewhat of a romantic, but Twilight is just too gushy for me. There's no subtly in any form. Stephenie Meyer went to no real lengths to research any of the mythology behind what she was writing about and that, to me, is the real travesty behind the series.

But I digress. As much as I hate the series and the popularity it has garnered, I found a small level of enjoyment in the film. Perhaps it was just the fact that actually seeing real people attempt to act out the book was utterly amusing to me, even if the acting was extremely shallow (though that isn't really surprising given the source material). Or maybe it was the potential I saw for the series to be good if the writer just did some research and cut out a lot of the needless romance and irrelevant events (yes, that is a reference to the baseball scene). Whatever it was, I did enjoy it.

I think what bothered me the most about the film were the sporadic shots and uneven pacing. The director should have made a much more conscious effort to make sure the camera didn't just do whatever it wanted and to get things moving quickly. There was just too much time spent doing nothing. We don't need that kind of realism in a fantasy film.

I am awarding Twilight two and a half stars out of five for its interesting concept, but poor follow through.

The Decemberists Play Their New Album in Its Entirety at SxSW

So I have been a huge fan of The Decemberists for some time now (they have held strong as my favorite English speaking band), so when they release new music I am no small amount of overjoyed. The Hazards of Love is the band's fifth album, their second under Capitol Records, and features a host of new sounds and styles from the indie rock superstars. But that's enough about the album itself for now (I plan on doing a full impressions post when I receive my copy), because the reason why I am posting this is to draw all of your attention to the fact that the band played the entirety of the album, in order, at South by Southwest 2009.

Yes, the band, along with Shara Worden of My Brightest Diamond and Becky Stark of Lavender Diamond, hit the stage in Austin around 1 a.m. this past Thursday and played through the entirety of the fifty-eight minute album. The performance included numerous costume changes and elaborate set designs in an effort to keep with the narrative theme of The Hazards of Love. You can listen to the full performance, which includes two old favorites at the end, here at npr music's site. The page also offers a bit more info as well as a few pictures from the show. I have listened to the full one hour and twenty-two minute live podcast and I must say that this is far beyond what I expected, which is really saying something. Enjoy everyone and be sure to check out the album on iTunes now or wait for the full release March 24th!

Goku Meets Roshi

But wait, there's more! We have finally reached that point where marketing law dictates that we must be swamped with clips from the respective film. I just love that part. Really, I do...

"Believe it punk! You are getting your clock cleaned!"

Chi-Chi vs. Chi-Chi

Just when I was starting to forget about this movie...

Left Behind

The end of my fifth poetry series entitled "Types of Love." I've been working on a series of acrostic poems in recent weeks so I will be sure to get a few of them up before the end of the month.


Left Behind

I sometimes wonder
If the heart I left behind
Is still out there somewhere,
Living a life I never can.

A life where you are still here,
With me,
Warm and alive.

A life that I buried
With my feelings for you.
Lost to an infinite
Blackness.

As we continue to move,
We lose more and more.
Like pens running out of ink.

Days pass by,
Seasons change,
Yet we can not spare the time to look up
And see how vast the sky really is.

We wrap ourselves in daily routines,
Fearing the slightest pause,
But life is to be savored not swallowed.

We must find a way to overcome
Our imaginary responsibilities,
Or our lost and lonely hearts
Will never find their way home again.

Though I kind of hope
Mine finds its way to you.
I think it would be happier there.

I know I would.


Copyright © 2009 Jarred Lee

A "Veritable Storm" of Valkyrie Profile Contests

Image Property Of: Scott Ramsoomair of vgcats.com
Text Property Of: Me!

Square-Enix is kicking their marketing campaign for the new Valkyrie Profile DS title, due for release March 17th here in the U.S., up a notch by offering contests through some of your favorite websites. What's up for grabs? Well, the winner of each respective contest will be rewarded with a copy of the game signed by key staff members (the chief director of Square-Enix, the director of the game, and the game's writer), a copy of the game's soundtrack signed by Motoi Sakuraba (a HUGELY famous game, tv, etc. composer), and a poster signed by the key staff members I mentioned earlier.

The requirements for winning vary from site to site, I have done three so far (the top image is for the vgcats one), and I would be interested to know if you guys find any more. I'll post the links for the ones that I have done at the bottom of this post and good luck to anyone who enters. I mean, the more people who enter the better my win will look on paper, right? Haha...

Vgcats Contest
Nuklear Power Contest (Look near the bottom of the page)
Kotaku Contest

New Half-Blood Prince Trailer

Well it has been quite some time since we've gotten one of these. The big news? This movie still looks great. Oh, and it still has a July 17th release date. I'll be really interested to see how they insert so much of the extra action we've been seeing. I mean, I don't recall a bridge being totally destroyed in the book. Ah well, enjoy.

Watchmen Impressions

I will admit that I am a bit biased in terms of the film, I read the graphic novel first, but I definitely enjoyed it for the most part. The dialogue was true to the novel and the sets even more so. The casting was excellent and acting was very well done. I was very impressed in that regard. Still, I just couldn't help but feel that something was missing. Perhaps it was the fact that the film shied away from the characters a bit too much? Some of my friends, who hadn't read the novel, were confused about some of the names and characters after our viewing and that really struck me as odd. No movie should allow something like that to happen, especially in terms of Watchmen because it is a character driven story. Also, a lot of the events that were changed kind of bothered me because I didn't really see why they needed to be changed. This goes quadruply for the ending of the film.

My biggest problem with Watchmen, however, came in the form of the sound track. Calling it largely inappropriate doesn't even come close to how I feel about it. I never thought that I would be watching some of my favorite scenes with the music they chose blaring out of the speakers. I know that some of the songs are mentioned in the graphic novel, but their placement in the film was atrocious. It was like someone in editing just hooked up their iPod and went to town.

I am awarding Watchmen four stars out of five for it's amazing visuals, solid casting and acting, and true-to-the-book dialogue and story. Still, the music placement was awful, and annoying at times, and the some of the changes were just unnecessary. Watchmen is a definite must-see for any mature viewer that enjoys a good "comic" movie. Emphasis on good. If you enjoyed Spiderman 3 then well... I'm sorry I suppose.

Let the Right One In The Novel Impressions

So I have finally decided to venture into the realm of book reviews. Why not, right? And what better way to start than with my favorite book? Ever.

Seriously, I am in love with this book. I saw the film a few months ago and, big surprise, loved it. The book, however, was tremendously better. Sure, a book being better than films based on it isn't a new phenomenon, but Let the Right One In doesn't suffer from the transition.

Differences Between the Novel and the Film: The film cuts out a lot of the grit and "controversial topics" that are explored in the novel. This is understandable though seeing as they wanted to give it as wide of a release as possible and the novel is very dirty. Also, a number of characters, and/or their backgrounds and storylines, are left out of the film as well. This is probably because of time constraints, of course, but the film adds a level of mystery to Eli by not fully disclosing "her" past. Almost all of the vampire lore is also left out of the film, but that isn't really something that you'd want in a film if you can't go into it fully.

So yes, Let the Right One In is dark, gritty, and intelligent. It kind of turns the vampire genre on its head by making you feel for the blood thirsty monster that kills to live. The characters are colorful, tormented, well developed, and well, human. They feel like real people as opposed to just characters in a story. The novel explores the vampire mythos like few others have and is a definite breath of fresh air in a Twilight polluted world. It doesn't hold anything back or paint any pretty pictures. Lindqvist is a true genius of the horror genre.

I won't be grading books like I have been films and games, but I will say that Let the Right One In is a must read by anyone who loves a good story. Still, it is definitely not a book for children or even squeemish adults.

Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin: Geometry Wars 2

"Ash brings two young lovers together."


So this episode WATCHMEN was kind of... umm... weird. There really isn't much else to WATCHMEN say, I suppose.


WATCHMEN.

This Day in Calvin and Hobbes: March 3, 1991

It sure has been a while since I did one of these. Ah well, it's a new month and the snow is melting.

I really love the message in this strip. If you can't laugh at things that don't make sense, then you won't be able to deal with a lot of things in life. So very true.