Another Fake Zelda Trailer

If you can even call this a fake Zelda trailer. None of you can possibly know how tempted I was to leave "Zelda" out of this title.

Anyways, if you haven't understood what I have said up to this point, this video is awful. Awful dialogue enhanced by awful accents, awful scenes accentuated by awful costumes and makeup, and just plain awful intensified by pure... umm... awfulness. (Yes! That's six times if you count my skillful use of the word awfulness!)

Overextended jokes aside, this video was just plain bad. I could not count how many times they had some random girl appear just to sigh very loudly and then disappear again. I suppose they thought it would be a cool effect or something? Also, why was Shiek wearing a black costume and hugging Link at every possible chance? And not blonde?! Link would have no choice but to believe that he was really a she... that, or a very very gay man. Not because of the not being blonde part of course, but because of the excessant hugging! Lastly, why was Link wearing eye shadow? He looked like a pale, painfully blonde, raccoon. I really wish that people would just stop making these... it was a good laugh once, but that horse has been beaten to its last floating carrot.

P.S. Who was that helping Ganondorf throughout this video? Wormtongue? How did you get here?

Burn After Reading Impressions

I have to say, this film is without a doubt the best movie I have seen in quite some time. Now I will forever be a sucker for black comedy (you should click the link person who I will refrain from naming but who knows who he is), but this film was exceptional even beyond that aspect.

First of all, the acting was absolutely terrific all around, though Frances McDormand was definitely the shining star here. She was of course followed very closely by Mr. John Malkovich, even though I am somewhat biased here because I always enjoy it when John Malkovich gets the chance to play John Malkovich. Secondly, and probably most importantly, was the story's very well organized format. I really enjoyed how each of the characters were shown both together and apart as their individual experiences slowly came together, though I found the scenes where the CIA head was trying to piece the events together a bit too blatant in their satire.

My only gripe with this film was that the ending was far too abrupt. After creating such humorous and interesting characters, I would have liked to see a proper sendoff of the ones who managed to survive all the craziness.

I am awarding Burn After Reading four and a half stars out of five for its dark humor and interesting characters, even if the ending left a little to be desired.

What Are You Watching?

Picture courtesy of here.


So I have recently realized that I am following a fairly ridiculous amount of television shows. I can't say that I am proud of everything that I am watching, cough Smallville cough, but I just find it impossible to give up a show after I start watching it. I'll make the list below, but I am leaving out the anime I am following at the moment because there is a ton of it, and it's all fansubbed anyways. By the by, this list isn't in any specific order and the season given marks the season that I am on.

Smallville (season 8)
Supernatural (season 4)
Heroes (season 3)
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (season 2)
Fringe (season 1)
South Park (season 12)
Nip/Tuck (season 5)
Lost (season 5)
Scrubs (season 8)
Buffy (season 8 even though it is in comic form)
Angel (season 1)
True Blood (season 1)
Big Love (season 1)
Dr. Who ("series" 5)
24 (season 6)
Venture Bros. (season 3)

Another Half-Blood Prince Trailer...

Well, it's that time of the week again! No, not another depressingly boring Heroes episode... no, not mystery meat day at the cafeteria... why, it's time for another HBP trailer of course!

I swear, if they put out any more trailers of this film we are going to start seeing fan cut and paste versions of the entire movie! Sigh... perhaps they are trying to make up for delaying the film almost eight months just because they wanted to fill in the same weekend window that the Dark Knight did? Well I am not satisfied... at all. Hmph!

Quantum Of Solace Impressions

So I saw Quantum Of Solace on its opening night, and I must say that I was fairly disappointed in quite a few respects. This being the case, I will get what I liked about the film out of the way first: the acting. I still find Daniel Craig to be a much more interesting Bond than Pierce Brosnan was and this film did not change that for me. Sure, he doesn't score much in the way of suave, but no one can do that better than Sean Connery anyway so I don't really need to see another actor attempt to reach that level. Craig's Bond is a true action star and I can respect that. Aside from Craig, Judi Dench was excellent yet again as M, Olga Kurylenko played an interesting, and extremely attractive, leading lady, and Mathieu Amalric was a cold, sadistic, Dominic Greene.

Now, the bad. The camera work and editing for this film was absolutely terrible during the action sequences. From the very first scene I knew this was going to be the case because I had trouble following which car Bond was driving in the car chase and there were quite a few times when I thought that he was crushed in a horrific crash. Secondly, I just can not bring myself to accept this film as a true sequel to Casino Royale. A grandiose epilogue, maybe, but certainly not a sequel. The scope of the plot was fairly shallow in comparison to what was suggested in all of the trailers, and the villain was fairly tame as far as Bond villains go. He didn't even really have all that threatening of a master plan. Also, the super secret organization, Quantum, that the film introduced felt more like a teaser for the next film as opposed to an actual factor in this one.

So after everything is said and done, I am giving Quantum Of Solace three stars out of five for its great acting and characters, but shallow plot and convoluted action sequences. Maybe next time Mr. Bond? Maybe next time...

New Watchmen Trailer!

What is this?! A new Watchmen trailer?! And they still have the release date set for March 6th?! Awesome. Simply, awesome. I can not wait to see this movie!

Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin: Left 4 Dead

"Ash and Anthony are going to have to cooperate."


Destructoid continues their biweekly posting of HAWP videos this week with a shout out to Valve's upcoming zombie survival game, Left 4 Dead, which released a PC and Xbox 360 demo a few days ago and has a current full release date of November 18th. This video was considerably more humorous than the last one and I laughed so hard at the part where the camera cuts over to the father and he just says "sup." Anyways, enjoy!

Not Cool Enough To Be Playing Mirrior's Edge In 3D?

Well have no fear! I just read on Kotaku that the independent gaming site Borne Games has just recently released the beta for their 2D version of EA's little jewel. I must say that it is fairly impressive from what I have seen. You can go here and try it out for yourself. Enjoy!

Max Payne Impressions

Arg, I am such a slacker when it comes to things not related to school work! Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Anyway, wow it has been a long time since I did a movie review! I suppose this review is as good enough as any to start back with because the things wrong with this movie were blatantly apparent.

The first comment that I must make is that this movie was very poorly drawn together. Scenes were just lumped on top of one another without any consideration for transition and time framing. I honestly could not tell if days, weeks, or months passed within this film.

My second complaint about the film is that none of the characters save Max, and possibly the tattoo parlor guy who just so happened to have a doctorate in Norse mythology, were in any way strong. There were various cameos, most of which were unnecessary, and Mila Kunis' character, who would have been seen as the film's "leading lady" under any other circumstances, was shallow at best. According to the movie's description, Kunis was supposed to be playing the role of an assassin who desired to avenge the death of her sister, but nothing she did in the film suggested that she was an assassin at all. A black market dealer, maybe, but definitely not an assassin. I didn't have too much to complain about with the acting, aside from Mark Wahlberg's usual stiffness, though.

Whatever I have said about this film up to this point does not detract in any way from the one thing it had going for it: the visuals. This film was visually stunning and the hallucinogenic sequences were fairly spectacular. The action sequences were spot on with those of the game as well.

So now that everything has been said, it's time for a little doing. I am awarding Max Payne two stars out of five because even though it was visually stunning, it failed in almost every other aspect. This is a great movie if you're with friends, looking to kill some time, and don't mind a few angry glares from the people you have upset with your copious amounts of laughter.