The First Dragon Ball Reviewer... Didn't Burst Into Flames?

Full version here, excerpt from Kotaku.com below:

" Positives

• Action - I wasn't expecting the action scenes to be as awesome as they were. Simply put the best thing about this movie. The last action scene of Goku vs. Picollo are simply amazing... This fight scene was around 13-15 minutes long. There are other small action scenes that are fun and entertaining with slo mo but nowhere as good as the picollo vs. goku scene.

• James Marsters as Picollo was awesome. He was perfect as picollo... Oh and Picollo transforms into a light greenish color picollo towards the end of the movie.

• Justin Chatwin as Goku. This guy surprised me a lot. I really didn't like him when they casted him as goku but he did a damn good job in the acting department and he nailed the KAMEHAMEHA line.

Negatives
• Story - Dragonball fans will be dissapointed with some of the changes they have made with stories and characters etc... High school setting for the first 22-23 minutes was so not needed but ah well typical hollywood garbage of adding bullshit like that.

• Chow Yun Fat as Master Roshi - I was dissapointed with this. I wanted the fucking perverted roshi who fucking grabs breasts and asses like in the anime but alas all of that is fucking gone. Also he acted like Mr. Kesuke Miyagi. You know what I mean. The lines he spoke were fine but I felt he was uncomfortable in the movie. Very dissapointed.

• Shenron the dragon - Ah another huge dissapointment... FUCK FUCK FUCK you fox. So ya they get all the dragonballs and the dragon appears but the dragon is hiding behind fucking clouds and you only see his shadow. The voice of the dragon was provided by none other than Christopher Sabat who provided the voice for the dragon in the american version of the anime. When the dragon spoke it was chilling but damnit it was hiding behind clouds. One can hope they will fix this but chances of that are very slim."

I know, right now you're probably as shocked by this as I am, but thankfully this fact can be rationally explained. Point the first: the reviewer is a complete amateur. From his overuse of expletives to his neglect of capitalization. (Though neither of those bothered me nearly as much as his replacement of "yeah" with "ya.") Second, he obviously has no idea what the actual Dragon Ball series was like because this movie is not related in anything outside of the names. Thirdly, he spelled "Piccolo" incorrectly, twice. Not to mention that he was pleased with the fact that he turns light green near the end of the movie from his newly albino vampire form. Lastly, he labeled Goku's ape form under the positive category even though he clearly states that Goku transforms into an "8-9 feet tall giant baboon." Correct me if I am wrong here, but wasn't Goku's ape form originally eight to nine stories tall? What, he barely doubles his considerably short size and he's a giant all of a sudden?

Bleh. For as excited as this guy is, I for one have not changed my prediction that this movie will be a disaster. The most I can hope for at this point is that the film will be laughably horrendous as opposed to painfully horrendous.